Tag Archives: lessons


12009824_892412037516939_4778200098043983122_nThe word is detachment. The meaning is clear…..the underlying meaning is hard.

I was lucky enough to be a guest at one of the finest spas in the world, Ananda in the Himalayas.

While there, I attended a lecture on the Buddhist philosophy on detachment.

It was a good lesson.

I pondered on it and patted myself on the back about all the times I had “practiced” detachment.

12039292_892412050850271_5152356866228833580_nI went back to my room and began to work on one of the Mandalas I brought to do meditative coloring.


The Mandala I choose was called Mandala of the Mothers, and talked about creativity and how important it was to be able to actively destroy a piece of art.

I froze… it meant that I was going to do my best work on this piece and then actively Detach and Destroy.

It made me very sad.


12042884_892412087516934_6247763140236545712_nIt brought up emotions that I had not expected.

I thought that I may as well just destroy it before I did my best with it.

THEN… the true detachment lesson appeared to me.


“Do your very very best, then detach from it.”



12032981_892412097516933_5799320541859878675_nIt took me another few weeks before I could muster the courage to work on the art work, then actively detach and destroy.


What can you detach from today?



Love and light


Ego or preparation?

Sticker-ShockThe invitation was issued and I accepted. I was going to be one of the key note presenters at a very significant World Conference.

What would I wear?
How did I want to present myself to the attendees?
These and multitudes of questions rushed into my already overcrowded brain.

I decided that I wanted new luggage.
Luggage, I imagined, was part of the first impression….so I began to shop.
I saw that Tumi had some great designs out there and I had a 20% off coupon.
Ok, not paying full price, already a coup!
I got two pieces, one large and one carry on.
Half of the first impression done. Check.

Next, what would I wear on stage?
I had some very professional clothes that I loved and I thought I was set.
THEN, while window shopping one day, I saw IT!
The ensemble (yes, it was an ensemble and it did feel quite hoity toity to say it) was magnificent.
The colors were pink and orange and gold!
The dress even had a name, Horizon Sunset!
It was by a designer and I have never bought anything designer.
I was “talked into” trying it on.
I was mesmerized
It was perfect.
It would be the ray of sunlight that would lighten my topic of Gender Violence.
It would bring sunshine into the room.
The designer was there and she fitted it to my body. It would be a perfect fit, she said.
The dress arrived two weeks before I was due to leave. I had a final fitting and it was made to fit me perfect.
So, I happily packed my larger suitcase and more happily packed my carry on.
I have my sunshine dress, the shoes to go with it and two more outfits, just in case my luggage gets lost!
First impression… Ready set go!


Mishap ONE:
The BRAND NEW TUMI carry on BROKE on the first flight and I had to buy a cheap one to take its place! I called Tumi and let them have the full extent of my anger. “So sorry,” she said “we will be happy to fix it!” Really? Can you get me a new one NOW for the rest of my trip? “Ummm….no, but we are really sorry!”

Mishap TWO:
I get to St. Moritz, where I unpacked all my clothes and had them all professionally pressed so as to really make that perfect first impression. The day of my speech, I rest, I meditate and I put on the sunshine dress. I do my thing (and people love the dress!), I go up stairs to change for the dinner event, I take off my lovely dress and THERE… A LARGE GAPING HOLE where a seam ought to be! I was so upset! I let loose some choice words about the designer… and vowed to get every cent of my money back.

What did I learn?

Lesson ONE:
My old luggage was plenty good enough. I did not have to spend more money for new luggage.

Lesson TWO:
The clothes in my closet were plenty good enough and I did not have to suit up in any designer duds to try to impress anyone.

Lesson THREE:
People were coming to hear all the speakers and to be inspired by the good work that everyone was doing. I did not have to do any more than the work I had already done. My work spoke volumes.

Lesson FOUR:
I am cured of designer duds!

I was super disappointed at the stuff that went wrong but at the end of the day, I was happy with my performance and how I handled myself despite all the mishaps.

My work shone more brightly than the designer ensemble and held up under pressure better than the Tumi bag.

Let’s remember what is really important in life…it’s the stuff we DO, not the stuff we own!
I think I allowed my ego to run amok and I got clobbered for it.

Next time, I am shopping my closet and borrowing bags from family members.

Love and light,

Can I stand back up? Yes.

WomanImageStand back up from what, you may ask?

I was recently assaulted and although it was “unintentional”, intentional or unintentional, the psychological injury is the same.

As I wallow in shame, doubt, distrust and unworthiness…I look for the lessons I can take from the experience to put into good use.

I have learned to stand up for my boundaries and to find strength in knowing I am worthy. I can use this knowledge to help others who may not have found their strength to stand for their boundaries or appreciate their own worthiness.

We are all worthy of love and respect, no matter what.

I can say that….
if you are battling abuse, regardless of the form
if you are battling rejection
if you are battling shame, doubt, and distrust
if you are wondering if you can ever stand back up again


The answer is yes.

It sometimes just takes a little time…


~Guest blogger- who would like to remain anonymous


Once upon a time….

tiara via iheartitThose four words have been the beginning of many fairy tales for centuries. Ok, maybe not centuries but a long, long time.

Cinderella, Snow White, Thumbelina, Belle and so many others… all princesses that we read or watch movies about. The birds fly around them and animals come out of the forest to be in their presence.  There are butterflies, zebras and moon beams.  And, of course, there is usually a prince.

These are considered stories of fantasy.  But is it really fantasy?  Can we not be the princess in our own fairy tale?

I recently stopped and noticed how these things that seem to only happen to storybook princesses actually happen in my life.  I stopped to see the moon, and think that it is shining just for me.  Perhaps not, but something made me stop and savor in the moon beams as if it was for my eyes only.  Look around, birds flitting about, bees in the flowers, the shiny outlines of the sun behind the clouds, a rainbow all for you to see.  Look at the people in your life who are dutiful coachman to you, as the mice were to Cinderella.  Could we all be princesses if we take the time to notice the magic that happens every day and think, “Wow, is this just for me?”  Could we all be princesses if we would say to ourselves, “I am worthy, I am loved?”

And like any good tale, there will always be poison apples, wicked witches and trolls under a bridge. These people and things bring gifts to us in the form of a lesson.   Scared of lions, tigers or bears? Dig down and you will find courage.  Evil step sisters full of greed and selfishness teach us about grace.  The ugly beast gives us the opportunity to love unconditionally and look at the heart of another.

Try it!  Take time today to look, I mean really look. Be aware of the simplest of things in your day to day life and think that the fairy god mothers, genies, and wizards put these things in your path just for you.  You are a princess, beautiful and loved in your own light.   I think you will be amazed at the wonderful magic that surrounds each of us every day.

Now if you will excuse me I have to go out and feed my unicorn….

The hourglass called LIFE…

One of my favorite songs is called BREATHE by Anna Nalick. One of the lines in this wonderful song is “life’s like an hour glass glued to the

The visual is quite glaring, no flip-overs. What’s done is DONE! My take on this is what’s done is not necessarily GONE!
How can that be?

Yes, time passes, but the memories and lessons last as long as they serve me.

Here is the thing that gets many of us into tons of trouble…

I can make sad memories last FOREVER. I turn them every which way from Sunday. I ponder about things I could’ve done, should’ve done or would do if I am ever in that same situation again.

What I am really doing is wasting the sands that are flowing through the hourglass right now. Instead, if I try to learn what I did well and promise myself that I WILL NOT repeat what I did that brought sadness then I am most surely using those grains of sand to the best possible end.

I have hourglasses strewn throughout my home and office and I often just flip them over to remind myself that those grains of sand really do represent my moments here on earth…moments that are precious and perfect.

Go out and find yourself a beautiful hourglass and keep it in view. When you feel yourself wasting time or fretting about things that cannot be changed, like the weather or a cranky family member, flip the hourglass. This can work one of two ways:

1.) Fret for as long as there is sand left on the top and make it a best fretting you have ever done…then be done!


2.) Use it to remind yourself that the grains represent precious time and start being grateful for all the good in your life.

Time is precious…
You are precious…
Life is precious…

Happy hunting for your hourglass!

Love and light

Last year, last month, yesterday …

Our lives are made up of a series of yesterdays. Some are clumped as:

Teenage years
Early twenties
In my thirties
The last twenty
Last month
Five minutes ago

It does not matter what labels we use, how we describe the past, the
plain fact is
The only things that we need to take from our varied past are the
lessons, not the pains.
As we bump into familiar pains, pains that smell like, look like,
taste like and feel like the past, let’s give ourselves the
permissions to take the lessons and leave the rest.
Things change, they always do and they must. We cannot and must not hold
on to old patterns or behaviors. Old may mean tried and true. Old may
mean traditional. Old can even mean antique and expensive.

Old does not mean “stay stuck in this useless pattern.”

New years was 6 weeks ago.
That day was a long time ago.
Today is NOW.
Today is NEW.

If OLD behaviors are helpful and useful and wise, then repeat them.
If OLD behaviors cannot or do not support the true essence of who YOU are,

New is not always great.
Old is not always bad.
Be picky.
Pick YOU!

Love & light,