All posts by Guest Blogger

Shareworthy: Calling all teachers…..

child-636022_1280If you are a teacher, you must check out our good friend Tanya Kelley, Ally to Teachers Who Are Burning Out.

Today we are sharing one of Tanya’s posts, called Ending Well, which is a great read for teachers of all kinds. Tanya also offers a free group coaching call called I’m SOOO DONE with that child! Click here to learn more or to sign up.

Happy End of Year to all of our teacher friends! And happy reading!

Ending Well

by Tanya Kelley

Cheers to you! As you take down the artwork and fancy writing assignments. Cheers to you! They’ve come so far since that first day you met them. Cheers to you — the year is over! And the 2014 / 2015 class picture takes its place with the others. Whew!

Maybe you’ll see them next year, but it won’t be the same. You’ll have a new class. They’ll have a new teacher. There are some students you hate to see go. But frankly, when it comes to others, you think, “thank heavens I will not have to deal with that child next year!” And in the same breath, the talk among your grade level team is thick with speculation about who is going to get the problem students next year.

Ending well is a process of letting go of the worst of times and the best of times and preparing to embrace a new class. It is also an opportunity to deepen personal and professional wisdom. If you’re willing to go there, it means taking a moment to linger with the memories and spirit of your problem child before moving on. If you decide to do so, above all, be gentle with yourself.

Rant

We’ve all had students who get under our skin. We breathe a sign of relief and the shoulders visibly let down when they are absent. We’re exhausted by the turmoil, conflict, strife, and high level of demand they bring to the classroom. We don’t want to feel that way. We maintain our best professional demeanor. But inside, we rail. We rant. “Why does it have to be such a struggle, every day? It’s so unfair!”

Consider a rant-o-rama. Basically a rant fest. Grab some paper and something to write with. Set a timer for 2 – 4 minutes. Rant about this problem child. Use your ugliest handwriting, caps, underlines, exclamation points, and emoticons. Stamp your foot if you want. Have a little tizzy fit now that the pressure is off. Or score your place in Monday’s “The Year’s Over and I’m SOOO Done” call at 10:00! Click here.

Reflect

Later, when you have some time to quietly and calmly reflect, set aside 5 to 10 minutes. Approach this reflective time with a spirit of curious inquiry.

How is it that this child had such an ability to rile me up? What do I wish she could have been or done instead? Besides this child, what other people or situations bring up these same responses for me?

If you sense another rant-o-rama coming on, consider whether it would be beneficial to go back to that step, or it it would be best for you to return to a calm, reflective place of curious inquiry right now. Or, you might decide that now is not a good time to reflect. Remember to be gentle with yourself!

You may think, “Why even go there? The year is over. I never have to deal with her again. It’s not worth my time and energy.”

Here are 2 reasons why you might want to go there:

  1. Because there will be a next time! The universe has a sense of humor, that’s for sure. You’ll get another chance to deal with a similar personality or set of circumstances. Wouldn’t it be nice if the cray-cray is a little less intense next time?
  2. Because going there give you a chance to know and do differently next time. A small shift can make a difference.

Release

Find the smallest thing that you can to admire, appreciate, or like about your mighty little tyrant. Mixed emotions are welcomed:

“Well, she did have this outrageous spunk — totally out of line in the classroom, the little brat — but she would be fabulous as my defense attorney, if I ever needed one!”

“Dang, if he wasn’t stubborn! Once he made a decision, he followed it through — too bad he missed out on what I could have taught him this year — but man, was he committed!”

And finally, allow yourself a touch of what you’re admiring, appreciating, or liking about the child. In your own adult, grown up, wise and beneficial way, bring some of the child’s spirit into your world. Because maybe what she was trying to show you all along was that a little outrageous spunk every once in a while is not such a bad thing.

Written by Tanya Kelley. 

Visit Tanya’s blog here.

Does this make you angry?

2015-05-15_1552The day started off like most days, I brew a pot of coffee
for my wife and I and she turns on the tv and gets ready for
work.

We were both in a great mood.

In an instant I was pissed off, angry and appalled.

Why?

Watch for yourself!

Let me start by saying that I love a good joke, BUT this is NOT funny.

Not in the slightest.

It is disrespectful and the people that did this are gutless, cowards.

They are not men.

And when given the opportunity to acknowledge and apologize, they choose to dig their heals in even deeper.

I did not choose to wake up to this, but I choose to stand up and say this has to stop NOW.

So what can we men do?

When we hear or see something that makes us sick, we need to say and do something.

They need to know that is not cool or funny, and hear it from us men as well.

This is not a feminist “thing”…..it’s a respect thing.

We all need to Man up.

 

1901511_1022259281136811_1508448638574535038_nShawn Shepheard

Author of “Life Is Sweet – Surviving Diabetes and a Whole Lot of Other Crazy Stuff!”

http://www.sugarfreeshawn.com/life-is-sweet/

Love is not fragile….

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A poem by Samantha Reynolds of bentlily.com

Love is not fragile 

Who taught you
to be sparing
with your love

as though your heart was a bank
as though love could dry up

nonsense

it is as if the ocean complained
it was too
wet

love is not fragile
it is as common as breath

it is play money
it is a race
to give more

go first
say it with impunity

you think you will ache
with vulnerability
but the strangest thing will happen

you will nearly drown
with peace.

 

My altar to myself

Image makunin via Pixabay

I have never had an altar and I found the instructions of building one for myself just not me, not something I would do.

I looked around and found that, really, my home is my altar and I made that comment to my dear friend.

I felt it was egotistical to say my home was my altar, that it placed attachment to my things.   And perhaps there is some attachment to a few of the items.

My friend reminded me that my house used to be my prison and that transforming it into my altar was a major accomplishement.   I sat with that thought….

My house was not a home for so many years, it was a place to hang my hat.  Home is where the heart is and there was no love amongst the walls, no trinkets of adornment, no comforts with its furnishings or the people who resided there.

As my divorce came and went, the house had become mine to do with it what I wanted. No compromise with others, no decisions made just to please another.   I was and am free to do what I want.  Awareness for what I needed became apparent as the cast of characters in my life stepped off the stage. As I had looked to others in my house of life for the love and acceptance, I had to turn to self-love and self-acceptance.

The walls that held secrets of the arguments, the abuse, the anger and resentment, I had them plastered over. Part of my history that were painful building blocks of who I am today, I’m stronger for it.  Plaster and paint gave a fresh page to a new chapter.  The house is an eccentric museum of my life and the things I hold dear, the memories and experiences which have shaped me in this lifetime. The books I loved reading and those I would love to read. Treasures and antiquities from my adventures. Colors and fabrics that bring me comfort.

Even a toy from my childhood with a hole and a torn eye sits on a shelf, a reminder of family vacations when they were still fun, and I was innocent.

Like an onion, each item is a layer of my life and peeling away one layer only brings about another.

The structure that, in the past, held no charm and had no atmosphere, now welcomes everyone once they cross the threshold.  The energy of my altar is one of peace. It’s a place where every room invites you to stop and sit a spell.  Blow the dust off almost any item on the shelves and there is a story of wonder and discovery to be told.

On the floor are framed photos of people and places I love and one day they will finally find their place on a wall. My tribute to them.

My home is not finished.  It’s a work in progress as is my life.

 

Guest Blogger