Tag Archives: shame resilience

Brighter Life Bit #25: How to Build Shame Resilience

ILF_Wtagline_Logo rgbYou can listen to the original teaching at the 15:30 minute mark of the Class 4 recording. You can download the audio from the ILF website here.

What is shame resilience? After listening to this part of the recording, grab your journal or open a word document on your computer and answer the following question:

“Have you recognized a shame experience this week? If so, what is coming up for you?”

How can you build shame resilience? Use the antidote called EMPATHY.   As you listen to the recording, do you believe you are a “giver” and “receiver” of empathy?  What comes up for you?  Write it down.

Share your experience with how these exercises worked for you in the comments of this post.

Brighter Life Bit #20: Moving from shame to guilt

ILF_Wtagline_LogoYou can listen to the original teaching at the 25 minute mark of the Class 3 recording. You can download the audio from iTunes here or from the ILF website here.

What if you are not actually experiencing shame?

Shame says “I am bad,” leading you to feeling powerless and invisible.

But what if what you are actually experiencing is guilt?

Guilt says “I have done something bad

This is a big difference. Shame makes you believe that you, as a person, are bad, while guilt shows the truth of the situation: you are a good person who has, at this certain point in time, done something bad.

Guilt can be a healthy emotion when used constructively to hold you accountable to the person you want to be. Guilt can guide you to see that you have done something bad, so you can make a commitment to not repeat the action.

Replacing shame with guilt, moving from “I am bad” to “I have done something bad” can guide you towards making positive change in your life.

In order to better understand guilt and how to replace shame with guilt you can:

  1. Write down some of your own reasons for feeling personal guilt.
  2. Write down times in your life when you have felt shame.
  3. Compare your “guilt list” to your “shame list.” Can you shift some of these shame experiences into guilt experiences?

What opens up for you as you make this shift from “I am bad” to “I have done something bad” Share your thoughts below:

Brighter Life Bit #19: Shame and expectations

ILF_Wtagline_LogoYou can listen to the original teaching at the 11 minute mark of the Class 3 recording. You can download the audio from iTunes here or from the ILF website here.

In the last Brighter Life Bit you made a list of the different shame categories (the who, and what that cause you shame). The next question to ask is “why do these people and things cause me to feel shame?

The answer is: Expectations.

The expectations of who you are supposed to be and how you are supposed to be compared to who you want to be and how you want to be.

Look over the different people, events, and things that you wrote down as triggering your feelings of shame, and beside each write down the expectation you are supposed to meet for each of these triggers:

  • Body image – I need to look like the magazine model
  • Money – I need to make more than $X
  • Teachers- you need to get more than 70% to be successful
  • Family – you need to take care of us, not yourself

To understand your feelings of shame you need to name it, and recognize that you are experiencing shame. Speaking (or writing) these expectations into the world is a big step towards changing how shame affects your life.

You can bring your own shame triggers, and the underlying expectations into the world by sharing them with the ILF community in the comments below…

Brighter Life Bit #18: Who and What causes you to feel Shame?

ILF_Wtagline_LogoYou can listen to the original teaching at the 3 minute mark of the Class 3 recording. You can download the audio from iTunes here or from the ILF website here.

Brene Brown defines shame as:

“an intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.”

Or, to put it even more succinctly:

“Shame says, ‘I am bad’.”

In what situations are you telling yourself “I am bad?”

What people in your life make you think “I am bad?”

Understanding the situations and people in your life that trigger thoughts of shame is an important step in building your shame resilience (we will discuss this more in the Class #4 Brighter Life Bits).

Take some time now to write out a list of the “what’s” and “who’s” that trigger feelings of “I am bad” in your life.

Then, you can share some of your list in the comments section below.

LABL 014: Shame and Shame Resilience with Brene Brown

ILF_Wtagline_Logo copyWelcome to Episode #14 of the Live a Brighter Life Podcast!

In this episode of the Live a Brighter Life Podcast Indrani and Brené Brown discuss:

  • Shame and shame resilience
  • the difference between empathy and compassion
  • why relieving suffering can protect you
  • why it is important to model a healthy life to your children
  • why incongruent living is so exhausting
  • the link between expectations and shame
  • and so much more…

You can learn more about Brene Brown at www.brenebrown.com

Podcast Recording

[powerpress]

LABL 004: Finding Resilience – Find Your Self Compassion

Welcome to Episode #4 of the Live a Brighter Life Podcast!

In this episode of the Live a Brighter Life Podcast Indrani and Andrea discuss how to find your resilience. Specifically you will:

  • Learn the importance of shame resilience
  • Understand the attributes of empathy
  • Identify your own shame story
  • Name your trusted network
  • Explore your strengths

Resources

I thought it was just me by Brené Brown

Podcast Recording

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