Tag Archives: protect

Change, Protect, Create…strategies for a respectful NO

In his book The Power of a Positive NO, William Ury gives us these 3 strategies to help us form and deliver a NO that is supportive.

Ury tells us that we “cannot say a proper YES if we cannot say NO.”

When I first read that line, I had to really think about it.
This is what occurred to me…if I am NOT ALLOWED to say NO to you, then any request is really just an order from you.
If I have to obey my orders, why even put it in question form? Just say to me…
DO this!
DO that!

At least then I know what I am dealing with, dictators and tyrants.
It is my experience however, that few tyrants WANT to be seen as tyrants. They want to be seen as benevolent and caring. They really believe that all their demands and orders are for our own good. They may think of themselves as the parent and us as children and therefore need to be TOLD what to do and how to do it.

Here is an easy test. Think of someone in your life that you have not said NO to. They “ask” and you do, without any real choice in the matter.

Now flip the roles in your head. Are you allowed to tell them what to do and will they do it?

If, for instance, they say “This room is filthy, clean it up!” and you are expected to hop to it and clean it up, can you say the same, in the same voice? Will they hop to it and clean it up?

Please do not try this with an abuser!!!

William Ury says that we must:

1. Change what is not working… by learning to say NO
2. Protect what we hold dear to us…like not being a constant slave
3. Create the new way we want to live.

He informs us that by learning to say a Positive No, we will be able to make significant changes that support both our internal power and our external relationships.

I wish you list of energy to change, protect, and create the life you say you want.

Love and light

He tells her she’s pretty…

He tells her she’s pretty.

He says “call me Daddy.”

He knows she is too young for him to be “chatting her up.”
He knows that she just had a fight with her Mother for being too mouthy.

How does he know?
She told him.

He told her that her Mother is a bitch and she is too pretty to listen to that bitch.
He buys her a purse that’s pink. Pink is her favorite color.

How did he know?
She told him.

He buys her a cold beer. She has never had beer.
How did he know?
She told him her Mother wouldn’t let her have any.

He smiled, knowingly and said, “A pretty woman like you should do whatever you want to do.”

He said, “Ever been in a fancy car like mine?”
She said no, and looked up adoringly to him.

He had hooked another one.
He waited for her to finish her drink…he had lots of time.

He had her whole life to hurry her up. He could wait for a few more minutes.

They drove across state lines.
She was raped that night.
He had lots of time to hurry her up now. She belonged to him. She was another one in the stable.

Do you want to know more about the sex trade?
Go to OWN and search for Lisa Ling’s report on sex trafficking.

If you know a young girl, please reach out to her and make sure you educate her about the horrors that are out there.

Be safe,