Tag Archives: friends

Who is YOUR tribe?

group via istockphotoTribe.  There have been a lot of articles in the past year about finding your tribe or being part of a tribe.   I thought about it and pondered as to who my tribe really is.  So I put it out there on Facebook and asked:  

 What tips do you have in finding a tribe?  

And 13 people offered up tips and insights.  All of which are interesting….

Crystal: Acceptance, kindness, respect, honesty, non-judgment, unconditional love….or at least the attempt.

Jeanine:  Remember in Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle, he talked about a “karats?” a loose-knit group of roughly 16 people you associate with your entire life? I always liked that idea.

Russell: If you meditate every day you will eventually find yourself in a wonderful tribe without having sought. Don’t limit yourself to your own imagination.

Me:  What makes up our tribe? Our FB friends, the people we work with, our family? Are we members of many tribes at the same time all in a quest to have a sense of belonging?

Brenda: You’ll have to explain the tribe you’re seeking. I’m finding my tribe is showing up the more I have personal growth.

Beulah: My tribe is almost completely made up of women…sisters, all whether by birth or fortune. I couldn’t survive without them.

Sherri: Those who connect to your soul…the deepest part of you. You know them. Just let it happen. I’m doing just that myself. It is amazing who is in your tribe led by the higher power. You will find them without looking. The ones who speak to your soul. Your tribe. Tribes are connected at the soul. No matter what their outer thoughts. Thoughts are only judgments good or bad. The soul will find the souls that are connected with you. There are no prerequisites of how the body and mind of the soul lives. Those are human conditions of the mind, just my opinion and that in itself is a judgment as are all thoughts.

Gary: Your tribe is the circle of friends that are close to you…the circle can be small or large; it doesn’t matter about the size. What matters is that your hearts and souls connect.

Stacy: Members of my tribe must eat and drink similar to me. A basic common need we have in share. Also an openness to share differences and withhold judgment.

Greg:  Listen, and pray, and watch. If you ask for your Tribe to find you, they will!

Happy:  Okay, my personal thoughts on this. I think we live many lives. In these lives a core of people always shows up, in different people that we are in contact with, i.e., my mom and I were together many different times. Once I was the mom, once we were friends….at one time we were twin sisters…I believe my tribe are these people. People you are drawn to, I feel that I have recently met several kindred souls on FB…it is a very good way to bring people together, if it’s used as that tool. And when we finish our lessons here on Earth, we all transcend and we are joined Beyond. The same thing, I feel about people who you immediately dislike. These people have done harm to you in the past, and you meet them again, to learn, to forgive, and move on. This is what I think your tribe is… You already know many of them. They are the people you love most deeply, and unconditionally.

Brenda:  My tribe is almost everyone and everything. In some way they make the circle complete. My son’s teachers, my employees, my animals, my family, my neighbors, my community, complete strangers, FB friends, nature and so on. It is all different levels of my tribe… but it is a tribe for me.

Jeanie: my thoughts … our tribe needs to be open and flexible everyday … yes, our closest loved ones will always be in our inner circle, but we are all imperfect people and will disappoint each other from time to time and won’t be there for the other when and how we need it at times. We need to forgive others, forgive ourselves, try to remain humble and accepting and realize what to hold onto and let go of each and every day. A stranger can be part of your tribe, even if for a moment, because in that moment – they are exactly what you need. When we struggle, it can be a very good and important time in our lives even if it’s painful ~ that’s when we grow the most.

Margarita: Decency and a good heart is the price of admission to my tribe. Anyone with that is in.

 

I would love to know your thoughts on tribes. Anything to share?

The Alchemy of Friendship

 

cafe4 via linayforma

A few months ago, I was fortunate enough to spend about 5 days with a friend. Just us two! We worked side by side, we checked in with each other, we had meals together and we walked around NY together. It was easy, fun, light and sweet!

It had been so long that I had felt such peace of mind with someone that it made my knees weak, my heart smile and my life expansive.

As I age I have been fortunate enough to meet some like-minded people with whom I can connect on a soul level and speak about the deeper issues of life.
Their love of and for me changes me in a positive and powerful way.
My love and acceptance of them changes me in much the same way.
We are social beings!
We run in packs!
We need our posses!

We cannot allow ourselves to be isolated from our fellow humans and we cannot fool ourselves into thinking that we a solitary creatures.
When you feel you are being disconnected from yourself it may be because you have been disconnected from others.
To see your goodness reflected in the eyes of a friend affirms your self-worth. It makes small moments LARGE. It makes little things BIG and it fills you with warmth and contentment.
If you have isolated yourself over the course of a few weeks, months or a lifetime, it is time for reinsertion.
Find like- minded people and form a group that meets regularly.
Your family can do without you a few nights a week!
If you don’t have a family, better yet, make a new family of like-minded people.
Get your gang together.
Have coffee and cake.

Last year I was in Sweden and they have a thing they call Fika.
It is when friends get together for coffee and cake!
Imagine….it is so ingrained that there is a word that means “Celebrate friendship.”
Go have a Fika with a new friend.

Love and light,
Indrani

De-friending fear…

 

Oh how Facebook has reduced us to junior high feelings all over again.

online drama via living.msnThose feelings weren’t that great the first time around. Now they are possibly worse because, on top of the same old teenage insecurities floating to the surface we have that feeling that OMG, really, I am a grown adult and am so emotionally involved in who is my friend or not on Facebook.

REALLY? Grow up!

The inner monologue goes something like this:
Will you be my friend?
Did you like my post?
Why did not you like my photo?
Why didn’t you comment on my post on your wall?
How come you didn’t Facebook me?

The inner voice is louder now: “What’s wrong with me that you do not want to be my friend or like the shit I post?”

Any of these statements ring true to you?

I shake my head in wonder of myself.
I recently had to de-friend someone who I thought was my friend but who did not act like my friend.

My finger hovered over the button to click as I planned on de-friending that person.
Oh the shame to de-friend….
The shame that I did not want to be their friend.
The shame that I was being mean or I was acting like a bitch.
The shame I would hurt their feelings.
The shame that as much as they wanted to be my friend…..I did not want them to be mine.
But the shame is that other person did not respect me, my rules, terms, conditions or non-conditions (as the case may be) of being MY friend.

Why should we feel shame de-friending someone who is not being a friend.

I click “de-friend”. I did it.

Oh the guilt. I have been de-friended and I know what it feels like to be de-friended. It’s like HEY I thought we were friends what the HELL is wrong with you to de-friend me? What did I do wrong?
Oh the guilt, will they call, text or email me asking me why? What will I say?
The guilt if I made someone feel less of a person because I did not want to be their friend.

It is amazing how this thing called Facebook can evoke these and so many emotions.
There is my Facebook friending insecurities rant.

Now I have one less friend….so friend me, I have a spot to fill!