Tag Archives: bully

One simple act…..

Change the world with ONE simple act….like opening a door consistently.

What a guy!

Can we all be more like him?


Respect for women trumps an order to gang rape a girl!


Recently in the news, an elder Tribesman ORDERED a girl to be gang raped!
This took place in a remote village in India.
Sorry to have opened this blog so abruptly. There is no other way to speak this horror other than to just spit it out.

The elder took part in the rape.

The whole village watched and stood by as a young girl was tied and ravaged because she dared to choose her own husband.

My mind has been racing since I read this….my head aching with all the elements that I do not understand.

I have so many questions:
How cruel has this man been in the past?
How many people had he already raped?
How much has he abused his wife?
How many rapes had the other rapists previously committed?

You see, from where I stand an elder does not “all of a sudden” decide to become a rapist.
And sane men do not just blindly follow an order to gang rape a young girl.

It is VERY likely that the elder has been a bully for quite a while AND he has gotten away with it.

No one in the village reported him for his cruelty and lack of basic humanity and so he grew in power and pride and found himself in a powerful position where he could “make” a group of men gang rape a young girl.

Did those men have a choice? YES, they did. They could have all said NO… this will not happen.

It was heart breaking to read that the village women blamed the girl for the horrific acts of the elder and the other rapists.

My heart wants to know how many other rapes and violence against women has been happening in this village that has up until now, gone unnoticed. How many women have been suffering in silence? Perhaps this instance of horrific acts will help to pry open a little more the plight of women and girls. Just like the gang rape on the bus in New Delhi where the victim died and the furor against these practices started. Perhaps this instance will further that fight.

I can only hope.

What is our takeaway here?

A bully needs to be reported at the first infraction lest he be voted in an elder at a later date. In this country, report the abusers lest they become our political leaders!

Speak up for your rights and keep speaking up….speak loudly and often and never shut up.
And MEN…
If someone tells you to rape someone say in a loud voice,
I AM NOT A RAPIST…and then report them to the authorities.

Please let us bring back humanity to the human race.

Love and light and compassion to all women who have suffered rape,

Who pushes your buttons?


push-to-add-drama via viraluploadWe all have people like this in our lives. They just seem to get under our skin. They know just what to say and when to say it and before you know it you are upset, crying or yelling and it feels like they have won….again.

This used to happen to me all the time. It used to feel like I walked into the trap and stayed in the trap even as I saw they were springing it on me….again!

The one BIG mistake that I used to make was this… I used to think that the people who did this to me cared about me.

When I began to realize that these people only liked to hear themselves talk, it was easier for me to untangle myself from their traps. I began to really listen to their words, the ACTUAL words, and I began to ASK them what they meant?

For instance…
When a family member says, “Well that’s just how you are.”
I now say, “What exactly do you mean?”
I noticed that the speaker would do a double take and would begin to trip over their words.
They began to say things like, “Oh, nothing really.” Or “Well I was just making a joke.”
Then I could say, “What was the joke?” Or “Was the joke at MY expense?”

I chose to react in this way until I felt that I broke the other person of their behaviors with me.
I chose to uninstall the buttons that used to be pushed all the time.
I must tell you, it takes time and patience but it was well worth my time an attention.

It was worth the time investment because it showed that I respected myself and that I expected others to respect me as well.

Just to reiterate my strategy:
I. I would ask for clarity.
2. I would ask for further clarity.
3. I would then pin point the “dig” and ask for even more clarity.

Please note that I was NOT concerned on who would like me, or who would judge me. I only focused on standing up for myself.
Love and light,
Indrani (Reminding you to stand up for yourself in the face of verbal bullies.)