A love letter

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It was just yesterday that I was preparing to give birth, or so it seems. In reality, it was 21 years ago. How is it that my brain can hold so many memories of a sweet baby girl?

First yawns

First giggles

First squeals of joy when she saw me

First tiny fists grasping my little finger

First attempts at nursing her

and the list goes on…

Then before I can understand what my brain is doing my mind goes to

First tea party

First swim suit

First sleep over

First day of kindergarten

First… oh so many firsts.

This thing that I am afflicted with is commonly known as Mother’s Love. I am blessed with the capacity to LOVE. She makes it EASY! My children have shown me how elastic and courageous and resilient my love can be. I can rise to any occasion where LOVE is required. I am at my very best when I choose to paint all of my challenges with love. My gift to this brand new 21-year-old is this (and I offer it to you if you need to hear it).

LOVE WELL. LOVE OFTEN. LOVE WITHOUT CONDITION.

BRING YOUR TALENTS TO ALL OF YOUR CHALLENGES, DO NOT LET A SINGLE TALENT GO UNEXPLORED.

KNOW THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A PLACE TO CALL HOME, EVEN IF I LIVE IN A CARDBOARD BOX UNDER A BRIDGE.

USE YOUR HEART AS OFTEN AS YOU USE THAT PRETTY HEAD OF YOURS.

BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF, THE WORLD WILL BE HARSH ENOUGH, SO PRACTICE KINDNESS TO YOU.

KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be free from suffering. May you be happy.

Love to you, my bright eyed child. You have made me a better Human Being. I am eternally grateful.

Be an explorer

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The celebrated Sir Edmund Hillary climbed Mt. Everest in 1953. He faced bitter cold, difficulty in breathing at altitude, equipment challenges.

In 1947 Thor Heyerdahl sailed a reed raft across the Pacific Ocean from South America to the Polynesian islands to test a theory that people traveled by using only the materials and technologies available during pre-columbian times. He faced ridicule by his peers for the concept, faced the weather of the Pacific and finally his raft struck a reef.

Amelia Earhart in 1937 attempt to make a circumnavigational flight of the globe. She had two prior attempts which included mechanical failures, unfavorable weather patterns, and always the fear of reaching her fueling stations.

So you are thinking, yes all these people are great explorers, how could I possibly add my name to that list?

When you do the work to explore your inner self are you facing the unknown. It won’t make the cover of National Geographic but it takes courage, guts, fortitude to look inside and see your truth. There will be times where you cannot think of putting one foot in front of the other, as Sir Edmund Hillary must have thought as he climbed Everest.

You may be ridiculed as Thor Heyerdahl was, but it did not stop him because he believed in his vision, his project and his mission.

To navigate your heart and your life there will be failures, you may have to make several attempts like Amelia Earhart.

To explore you will be scared, you will feel fear, and so did these three explorers.

To explore your true self can be as steep a climb, as wide as an ocean, or as vast as the sky. You are an explorer in the truest sense of the word.

Add your name to the list!

Do you pledge allegiance… to YOU?

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We are about to celebrate another Independence Day in these United States. I am not a born American but I became a citizen of this, my adopted country, as soon as I could. For myself, I found MY personal independence here in the Unites States of America.

Why does America inspire so many to LIVE a full and complete life?

Maybe it is because the earliest Americans had to really scrap with the Almighty King George III to have the freedom that I enjoy today.

For a glimpse of a possible answer we must go back to the 1700s and what propelled the then British citizens, the Colonists to rise up and say to King George III, “Hey Dude… Enough is enough!”

Did the colonists unanimously decide to be independent in one fell swoop?

No, they did not…

Here is an amazing fact about the unanimous signing of The Declaration of Independence. Benjamin Franklin tried to establish The Albany Plan in 1754 and it was soundly defeated, so that The Declaration of Independence was unanimously signed was nothing short of a miracle. We are told that “this coming together happened very gradually”. It seems that the colonies had a series of meetings each priming them for compromise. It was this feeling of oneness that made them a solid block.

Ben Franklin had tried back in 1754 to get the Albany Plan of Union passed and it was NOT supported.

According to the website I used, http://www.ushistory.org/us/9.asp, “This plan, under the slogan ‘Join or Die’, would have brought the colonial rivals together to meet the common threat of the French and the Indians. Much to Franklin’s chagrin, this plan was soundly defeated”.

The colonists thought themselves very much “British Subjects” yet they came together to DECLARE themselves free and independent of The Man just a few years after they rejected Franklin’s Albany Plan.

So what led up to Britain losing to a “rag tag group of freedom fighters”?

Can you imagine the surprise on ole King George’s face when the ship bearing the news that the colonists were winning arrived?

I imagined that he must have declared, in the vernacular of the times, “are you guys sh**ing me?”

From my research, I understand that the push for independence came about from a string of steps that the British made. Some of these are called the Intolerable Acts:

1 Boston Port Act

2 Massachusetts Government Act

3 Administration of Justice Act

4 Quebec Act

The Colonists were further pushed over the proverbial edge with the Stamp Act. This said that all official documents had to bear certain stamps and the costs were extremely probative. People could not even issue birth certificates without these added expenses.

The masses were getting restless. Hey King…you’re in for a bit of a fight, buddy!

Further Independence was not won in ONE epic battle. Rather it was a series of smaller battles, each one giving the colonists more confidence.  “How could the Americans ever hope to defeat the mighty British Empire in a military conflict? Americans faced seemingly impossible obstacles. When the guns fired at Lexington and Concord in 1775 there was not yet even a Continental Army.”

Some of the major battles of the American Revolution are:

April 1775 Lexington-Concord

June 1775 Bunker Hill

December 1775 Quebec

Oct 1776 White Plains

Sept 1777 Saratoga

Sept 1779 Siege of Savannah

Sept 1781 Siege of Yorktown

There are many more…

Why list any of the above?

This is, by way of telling you that Independence is a fight, that is worth it. Your personal independence is worth it. Your personal battles are worth fighting and you will gain confidence with each battle fought.

List your intolerable acts.

List your battles.

Begin to make your case.

Thomas Jefferson was a major writer of the Declaration of Independence, and he had assistance from John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Robert R Livingston and Roger Sherman.

This amazing document has 4 parts

1. Preamble… Tells why the document is written, gives all the reasons why the people must support this.

2. Rights of all the people…life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness

3. List of Grievances…unfair actions of the King and Parliament and lists steps the colonists tried to take to settle these differences. This part ends with saying the King of England is “unfit to be the ruler of a free people”.

4. States that all the colonies are free and independent states.

So as I wish you a MOST HAPPY FOURTH… I invite you to declare your own Independence over your fears and the rules that are holding you back from living in true Freedom.

Here is a little formula to follow:

Write down some of the battles you have fought, give them some juicy names.

Write down some intolerable things that you have endured.

Get your peeps together, the ones who support you and begin the writing of your Freedom Document.

Write your declaration, change it as often as you wish, but keep working on it.

Send me your declarations and I will post some to my blog for the world to see.

Go forth and find your freedom wherever you may live.

Love and light from Indrani

Cloudy with a chance of ‘OH SHIT’!

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This year in Houston, we have a very bad drought. I read that in East Texas, they have been in drought for 3 years. I am saddened for the animals and the trees. People can always seem to find water.
What would happen if it was just the opposite? What if it rained NON STOP for 3 years? What if it rained NON STOP for months on end? It would be called Monsoon. Many parts of the world manage to get through their yearly Monsoon, but not without loss and heart ache. Houses get swept away, human and animal lives are lost, and a host of other tragedies occur.
What happens when life sends you a FLOOD of a different kind? Emotional floods. Floods that sweep through your heart and up end all that you held sound and solid?
Maybe that looks like a loved one passing at the same time that you lose your job. Or maybe it looks like the youngest child leaving for college and your spouse declares that they want a divorce? Or maybe it looks like you are in the hospital awaiting surgery and then the spouse walks in asking for a divorce? It has happened!
When these waves of emotion begin to crash all around you, do not try to swim… just float. DO NOTHING! This too will pass. It always does, it really always does.
Ask instead these questions:
1. What do you know for sure?
2. What can you be grateful for in this moment?
3. Who can you call to share/weep/sigh/scream to?
4. How can you REST inside of the turmoil and wait for the lessons?
5. DO NOTHING.

If you still have some time to read a great poem about emotional flooding… search for THE GUEST HOUSE BY RUMI.

Love and Light and Resting
Indrani

When you wish upon a star

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…Makes no difference who you are.  The song written for Walt Disney’s 1940 adaptation of Pinocchio, rings so true when it comes to our dreams and happiness.  We forget the “makes no difference who you are”!  We do not dignify our dreams and wish for happiness.  Perhaps we ignore our wishes out of feeling embarrassed, undeserving, or just too busy to give our dreams and longing for happiness the recognition and time.  We live as if it really does not matter that much.

We instead choose to play it safe.

When we play it safe, there is no fear of embarrassment in pursuing the dream, no fear that someone will ridicule us about our wish, no fear of failure that the dream may not be exactly what we had hoped.  We sit safely on the wish side lines, thinking happiness not worth the risk of stepping out into the playing field.

Too undeserving to dream?  What a lie we tell ourselves, “I am too ____( fill in the blank)_____ to have dreams, hopes for happiness”.  Would you tell a child they are undeserving?  Of course you wouldn’t, so why would you tell yourself that?  Age is not a factor.

Too busy to dream or wish for happiness? Make time!  There is time if you want there to be time.  If you invest that time in that wish or dream you can jump start your creativity, step a little lighter, smile a little brighter.  Heck, maybe just start smiling. Happiness is for everyone, and it CAN be obtained.  But you cannot obtain it if you do not recognize the wish for it.   I am not saying it won’t take some work.  But isn’t your wish for happiness worth it?

Wishes and dreams are not just for children. As a parent, how can you truthful encourage kids to dream and wish if you yourself do not believe that wishes & dreams are for everyone and that they can come true?!

Dreams & wishes DO matter. Perhaps even more so when we are older.

So, what is your wish or dream?  Write it down and start making your own dreams of happiness come true.

PS> Now that we have settled that… remember dreams have a bill of rights too!

Do you love yourself enough to get healthy?

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Wowzers, half the year is over!

Where did the time go?

I had such great plans for this year.

After my knee surgery in January, I planned to walk about 5 miles per week for three weeks and then get into gear to do some serious mileage.

I have done NOTHING.

Sure from time to time I get out and do a few miles, but that searing drive that I used to have when I was training for my triathlon and my marathons have disappeared.

I feel sad that I have allowed myself to fall off the fitness wagon.

I KNOW how to get back on.

It really is just a decision, a daily decision.

It really is just a promise to myself that my health is more important than anything else.

Just that simple.

So, this past week I again make this promise.

Now I make it in front of you, my dear friend.

I promise to take up my walking again five days of the week and I promise to find a great marathon to train for.

I ask you… What health gifts will you give to you?

I know that it will be difficult, it always is. I also know that it is well worth it.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I must do this if I truly love myself.

Do you love yourself enough to get healthy? I hope so.

Love and light from Indrani

Frustration

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The most frustrating situations occur when hard decisions have to be made. The decision is obvious, yet it is of the anticipated reactions by others that causes the frustration and pain.

Perhaps if we did not pre-determine the reactions in our heads, we could make the right decision easily, and then have the clear mind and heart to deal with the repercussions, if they occur at all.

The definition of divorce is….

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Emotional divorce as defined by me is:
Disengaging one’s energy from being entangled with the energy of another.
A shorter way to put this is:
Their business is none of yours!
Yes, I know it sounds crass and abrupt and even a little bitchy.

Bear with me a while and read the following story:
I just met a delightful woman walking her equally delightful dogs and we stopped to chat. I started to tell her about the joy event (if you missed it, send me an email and we will send you a taste of what you missed). Anyway, the conversation quickly turned to her feeling really taken advantage of by a very close family member. This person insists on smoking in her house, even though she has been repeatedly told not to. She engages in harmful drug behaviors and has people scrambling to always save her from herself. She even intentionally ruins the good fortunes of others with every trick at her disposal.
This person is an excellent teacher…. Do you have any such teachers in your life?

For example…
People who constantly borrow money?
People who continually dump their emotional bilge all over you?
People who are always complaining about their job but won’t make any changes?
People who must have all the attention on themselves because their life is the only thing worthwhile?

WHAT EXACTLY DO these people teach us? What could we possible learn from emotionally draining situations such as this?
Well the answer to this question is both simple and complicated.
The simple answer is this: They are here to teach us to mind our own business and live our own lives.
The complicated answer is this: What kind of life do you want and do you have the courage to step completely into it?

Let’s take the complicated answer first.

Take some time to answer these questions.

What would your LIFE look like if this person were NOT in your life?

How would you live differently?

What actions would you not have to take?
How would your emotional state of health look like?
Would you be happier if you did not have to constantly care take the emotional abuser?
Do you know what emotional abuse is?
Are there others in your life that you take emotional abuse from?
What wonderful projects would you invest the emotional energy that you are saving?

Now, the simple answer….
All the above answers are YOUR business.
All the above answers are the WAY YOU WANT to LIVE your own life.
NOW DO IT!
There is no time to waste.
Life is shorter than you think.
If not now, when?
If you won’t take responsibility for your happiness who will or more importantly who should?

Love and light, Indrani.

Joy goes on even if a loved one does not.

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A friend of mine recently lost his wife to a 14 year battle with cancer. Through those years he demonstrated joy, love, caring, passion, devotion, dedication…. the list goes on. He seemed to be super human in his caring and compassion for his wife. He made her every day a celebration.

Since her passing he has been working on getting life back together. A life without doctors, chemotherapy and the stress of the impending end. The furniture of their house and his life has now been moved around for the next chapter, for the future.

Some people say he is not grieving enough.

Are there time limits? Grieving rules written somewhere? Whose to say how long anyone should grieve?

His wife would want him to live life without her with as much joy as he did with her by his side.