Us stay-at-home moms often feel we work a payless job.
Last Friday at about 5:30pm as my 6 year old and 3 year old were working on painting and drawing I was reading some of my Facebook friends’ posts about it being payday Friday and I was enviously thinking “I remember when…”
Then out of the blue my 3 year old presents me with this:
THIS is my paycheck. Unfortunately, I can’t buy a new pair of shoes with it… but it’s priceless!
I have right to have whatever I want in my home.
I have a right to be safe from my crazy neighbors.
The city has a right to protect the larger community.
First responders put themselves in danger when things go wrong.
I was really enthralled in the conversation when one of the first responders said:
“You can buy a tiger, but you can’t buy common sense”
At first I chuckled, but began to see this statement as wiser than it
first seems.
I can buy a tiger without any currency exchange.
I can summon up that tiger in me at the drop of a hat.
I can jump out of a perfectly smooth day into rage and fierce anger
when I DECIDE that someone is infringing on my rights.
We see this behavior in teenagers all the time.
A teenager might say “I have the right to my own life, just leave me alone”
and the very next minute they need money or your car.
A grown person might say
“I have the right to a satisfying relationship and my
partner is too boring. I deserve to have that affair, or to just dump
my partner”
We see and read about this behavior all the time.
The next time you decide to inhabit the fierce animal within, act as
if it would be easier to purchase some common sense instead.
It’s a lot harder than grabbing hold of the raging beast but in the
long run, it is much easier on you, your family and the community at
large.
Let’s think LONG term solutions, let’s think common sense.
Let the raging animal slink back into its well furnished cave. Don’t
worry; it’s never really that far away.
I guarantee it will poke its head out in a few minutes.
Beware the beast within!
Love and light,
Indrani
How large is your Grudge box?
First what IS a Grudge Box? It’s the place in your head where you keep
track of all your past grudges.
You know…
Yep, all these and more.
So be honest, how large is your grudge box?
I am working on reducing mine in the following ways:
1. Forgiving myself for holding on to the past.
2. Creating an even larger Gratitude box.
3. Maintaining protective distance from people whom I fear may hurt me.
4. Explaining to my close family that I am no longer in the grudge
business and that I will attempt to clear the air if I feel a grudge
surge coming on.
You may borrow my strategies, or make some of your own. I would love to hear from you.
Love and light
Indrani
“… strong professional women of all races are at risk of being classified as angry or humorless or just plain bitchy. Studies have shown that men who get angry are often rewarded in their career, while women who express anger tend to be penalized.” -Ilyse Hogue.
This quote hardly needs any more explanation… except for HOW to handle this in our lives and in the work place. The way we treat anger personally and professionally is directly related to HOW we were taught to react by our parents or guardians. I remember very clearly that shouting and screaming were par for the course in my family of origin, but only for the adults, we kids would get slapped if we said a word.
As I grew up, every time someone yelled at me, even though I was an adult I felt childlike and immediately clamped up. I evolved into being the shouter and the yeller until I realized that I was only harming myself.
It is quite easier to “control” ourselves at work, as the social norm is to go along to get along.
What happens if you do let loose and people start labeling you? Can you open the conversation with them about the labels?
Not really, BUT you can open the conversation about the labels they put on others. This way you are just creating a small crack in the social façade and your wisdom can shine a light thru the crack.
So try standing up for others and you will feel a lot better even if you don’t have anyone to stand up for you.
Love and light
Indrani
P.S. I did notice that people brought their problems to me to solve because I was that Bitch who wouldn’t take crap. Interesting, don’t ya think?
Maya Angelou
When a person shows you who they are, believe it the first time.
Truer words were never spoken but are they ever hard to remember.
I was teaching a class called Live a Brighter Life this week to a group who had the courage to step out of abusive relationships. All around the room I see bright eyes and beautiful smiles and brilliant minds and women who believe Dr. Angelou’s quote.
The first time someone disrespects you BELIEVE IT!
Do not judge yourself for “not being good enough”. Know that their actions reflect their thoughts and are a reflection on them.
Your job is to find a safe way to get out of harm’s way and find solace.
Take small steps into your Brighter Life.
Love and light
Indrani
Homeless Sweet Homeless 2 by Pandaphobia
I have seen homeless people at a distance.
But I took a step closer and this is what I saw.
I did not see dirty people
I saw people who looked their best.
I did not see uncaring
I saw people asking about one another.
I did not see solitude
I saw kinship.
I did not see withdrawal
I saw openness.
I did not see disconnection.
I saw bonding.
I did not see isolation.
I saw communicating.
I did not see self-pity.
I saw self-regard.
I did not see unmotivation
I saw determination
I did not see dumbness
I saw intelligence
I did not see fear
I saw courage.
I did not see aggression.
I saw friendliness.
I did not see disregard.
I saw appreciation.
I did not see scowling faces.
I saw smiles.
What I saw? Human beings just like me.
Do you have the courage to take a step closer to someone or something to get a better view?