Tag Archives: make better decisions

Choices, roles and other mysteries…

These days the word “choice” has a bad rap. It can only mean that we are on one side of a heated debate about women’s health. This blog is NOT about that choice, so please don’t feel like you must run for cover, find a picket sign, or shout “You go girl”!

This piece is about the choices we make every day that mold the life we eventually live. This is about all those little unconscious choices, like the 6th piece of cheesecake or the 4th affair or the decision to drive from Houston to Florida in order to shoot the girlfriend of your lover. Remember the female astronaut who was married and having an affair but was pissed off that her single lover had another girlfriend? I have to believe that her brain was offline…that is the only possible way that a woman who was brilliant enough to be one of the few to have gone into space could be cloudy enough to do what she did.

So, it is settled, smart people make stupid decisions!

I know that YOU are smart, so how can we make you immune to stupid mistakes?
I use the word ‘immune’ quite loosely, because I do not believe we can be completely immune to stupid mistakes.
We can, however, remember what is truly valuable to us so that we have a better chance of surviving the attack of “what was I thinking?”

My definition of personal values is a daily dose of remembering who we are at the core of our being and promising ourselves to stay true to that vision of who we are.
What kind of person do you wish to be known as?
Do you want to be the type of person who sneaks around having affairs and lying to your family?
Do you want to be the type of person who beats your spouse behind closed doors?

Staying present to your core values and your knowledge of what is right or wrong is one of the better ways to not stray from being a good and decent person.
It means that you hold true to your core beliefs in every decision you make.
You do not scream at others while saying you hate it when people scream at you.
It means that you weigh your responses before you fly off the handle and then ask for forgiveness.
It means that you respect others as you would expect to be respected.

The mystery of why we humans act more like animals than the rational beings we are is quite beyond me.
Why do we abuse woman and children?
Why do clergy sexually abuse little children?
Why are there so many instances of domestic violence and why do we make excuses for such behaviors?

Our choices and the roles we choose for our lives should not be made in a vacuum. It should not be a mystery as to why we continue to make the same insane mistakes. It should not cause us to scratch our heads in disbelief and not know why we do what we do.

Let’s make choices for ourselves that will allow us to enjoy the mystery of life that surrounds us. The mysteries of nature, the mysteries of love and the mysteries of the love we feel when we see children smile. Let’s make informed choices so that we can be surrounded by sweet mysteries…not by insane mysteries of uninformed decisions that are made when brains are offline.

Love & light,


The Ulysses Contract….

Allow me to refresh your memory of how
Ulysses saved himself from the sirens.
He made his men lash him to the mast of the ship and plug their own ears with wax so that they would not fall prey to the sirens or follow his pleas and demands to be untied and ultimately die.

He saved himself and he saved his men.
The siren’s song was legendary.
Men who became bewitched by the sirens singing steered their ships upon rocks and perished. Ulysses knew what was waiting. He knew that he had no choice but to take that route.

So, instead of “hoping” for the best, he made a plan.
His plan was a two part plan.

Why two parts?
He KNEW himself. He knew that even though he was lashed to the mast he would have screamed and shouted demands at his men until they untied him…and how dare they disobey the “King of Ithaca”?

What can we modern folk learn from this ancient warrior?
Are these lessons even applicable today?

YES, the lessons are still very applicable.

Do you have any cravings?
Do you have any addictions?
Do you “invest” money while watching home shopping network?
Have you ever been caught by an infomercial?
Do you eat unhealthy foods?

Any of the above can be a situation under which you could make a Ulysses contract with yourself.

If you eat the cheesecake…you will do extra time on the treadmill.
If you spend too much on HSN…you will NOT watch the channel for one week or one month.

Be aware that the second part of the contract requires that you make someone a part of the plan so that you ensure success.

Take a look at the events in your life that occur frequently and ask yourself what sort of plan you can put in place to make better decisions and have happier outcomes.

There is a country western song with these lyrics “tequila makes her clothes fall off”.

In this case she needs to wear a body suit that is mighty hard to take off if she wants to still drink tequila.

Cute undies just may not be enough 🙂

What are your challenges? What’s your tequila?

Love and light