The Shadow of ” You’re only supposed to …”

This weekend I happened upon one of my favorite movies.

It is YENTL. If you have never seen it… please rectify this immediately!

The story is about a Jewish woman who pretends to be a boy so that she can go to school and study the TORAH.

Barbara Streisand plays the woman who tricks the whole village. The question that Yentl asks over and over is simply this

”  Why do I have a mind if not to question why”

Some of the powerful lyrics in the song called “Where is it written” are

” where do I belong in the scheme of things…why have a mind if not to question why? what is it that I am meant to be? that I can dare to have the chance to pick the fruit of every tree”

I first saw this movie when I was just a few years in this country. I realize now that I had been asking these very questions all my life.

Why are we pigeon-holed?

Why are we told that we can be this thing and not that thing?

I came to this country in 1974 and women were asking these very questions. Why are we still asking them now? Why do we not have the RIGHTS to be all that we can be?

Can we give ourselves the permission to have UNMITIGATED GALL  in asking for what we want? Or must we play the game of using “mitigated speech” ( when we down play what we want or use hints not daring to ask directly) to get what we desire at a deep level.

When we beat around the bush and not give ourselves  permission to ask directly, without anger, or fear for what we want, who are we placating, hurting,putting on a pedestal or back burner?

The next time you want something that you know is right for you and you feel fear when you think about asking for it, try asking yourself these questions.

1. Who do I fear?

2.What do I fear may happen? ( if this answer involves physical/ emotional abuse call a shelter IMMEDIATELY)

3. What could happen if I do this thing without permission?

4. Where did I learn that I need permission and how do I know that those messages were right?

5. What am I willing to sacrifice to live life on my own terms?

6. How old do I have to be to take my rights as a human being?

7. Who determines the kind of life I must lead?

8. If I do not respect my own dreams who can I expect to respect them?

9. Do I love myself?

10. Do I absolutely love myself?

Do now worry if you cannot answer all these questions. Just the fact that you are willing to to even think about them is growth. Give yourself some space to think and to grow. Allow yourself to dare to dream and “the dare to question” time will come, when you are ready and not a moment before!

love and light