Tag Archives: forgive yourself

Have I told you lately that I love you?

how-to-forgive via marcandangel.comWhen my kids were quite small, I was a stay home mother and I was consumed with the everyday things that stay home mothers are consumed with.
Some of them were important, like food in the pantry and on the table having clean clothing for school. Other things were NOT at all important, like whether or not a child was smiling in a family photo.
I have an awful memory of myself making one of my children feel really bad for not smiling in the family photo.
I was so HELL bent of having this “perfect” moment, that I could not find the maturity to ask a simple question like, “Honey, what’s the matter? Are you feeling ok?” or to just let the photographer do their thing and realize that the photo was just a moment in a long string of moments.

As I remember this, I feel so sick about my own actions that I can barely forgive myself.
But forgiveness of self is exactly what I need to do here.
I did the best I could. I really did. We all do the best we can.
As Oprah says, “When we know better, we do better.”
I know better and I do better these days.

If you can think of something you could have done better and you have a chance to apologize, do it.
Do better next time.
Begin a conversation with someone who you have inadvertently hurt and ask for forgiveness.
Forgive yourself.
Tell them how much you care.
It is very cliché, but authentic remorse really does clear up a lot of fog.
Love really does find a way.


Love and light,


perfectionistGive yourself a break and redefine yourself with the best of you!

If you find yourself stuck in a destructive thought pattern and are beating yourself up, you may be picking your own brain looking for evidence about what a screw up you are.

You may even be at the receiving end of someone telling you how screwed up you are and listing the evidence to support the “you are screwed up” theory.

Try to remove yourself from these people or this situation IMMEDIATELY!

Even if you can only get away by going to the toilet, go to the toilet.

Sit in there for as long as you need to break the onslaught of negativity.

If people begin to yell at you to come out, lie and say you have stomach problems and stay longer. The longer you stay in the toilet, the easier it is for them to lose their wrath and maybe calm down a bit.

Always remove yourself from the negative barrage of others.

People who are busy screaming and yelling at you about how bad you are do not have time to look at their own bad behaviors. They are turning their discomfort into anger directed at you so they don’t have to feel their own emotions.

The time to engage with people raging at you is NOT when they are raging.

The ONLY thing to do with a RAGER is to disengage.

So the next time you are being told how bad or stupid you are….disengage as soon as you can and refuse to be defined by others.

If you have made a mistake, forgive yourself and do not be defined by that mistake. Know too, that you are fully human and that you will make many more mistakes in the future. It is with our mistakes that we learn our greatest lessons.

Go forth and make mistakes, learn from them and refuse to be defined by them.

Love and light,