I managed to get through one night, then two nights and foolishly felt that the pain was gone.
I woke the next morning and began to brush my teeth to prepare for the day and thought, “How odd….the water is so warm and salty.”
I stopped to fiddle with the tap, only to realize that the water was OFF.
The warm and salty water was coming from my eyes. I was crying and didn’t even know it.
The eye faucets were wide open and I was drowning.
I allowed the tooth brush to fall into the sink and my head fell in after it and I wept.
I allowed the weeping to escape. I did not care that my hair was in the sink.
I only cared to weep.
Then, just as it began, the weeping stopped. I tied up my hair and continued to brush my teeth.
I have learned to accept that emotions come in waves.
When the wave crests I sometimes need to cry or weep. Sometimes the emotions are positive and I laugh out loud. I feel overcome by the emotion, whether I see it as positive or negative. What difference does it make to my brain whether I am crying out loud because of sadness or laughing out loud because of a joke?
My brain just needs me to honor the emotion and not shove them inside.
Society tells me that laughing out loud is more socially acceptable than weeping out loud.
I have even been told to “not laugh so hard” because I am embarrassing myself. Truth be told…I was actually embarrassing the other person.
So maybe you will find yourself with warm, salty water dripping from your saddened face and a tooth brush in your hand. Put down the toothbrush and honor the tears. You will feel a lot better, I promise.
Love and light,