Tag Archives: destiny

Endings are only beginnings

If you are reading this then 2018 is at an end (or gone) and we are welcoming 2019, either eagerly or in some other way.

Please look for a moment at the photo. It is of the meditation pod at Auroville, outside of Puducherry India.

It is known as the Matrimandir.

Auroville, City of Dawn, is an intentional community. It was first envisioned by a guru called Mirra Alfassa. She was a European woman who devoted her life to spirituality.

The City of Dawn, is built on land that was “approximately 20 square kilometers of barren wasteland.”

The earth was unable to support both plant or animal life.

A small group of believers began (what must have looked like madness to the non–believers) to rehabilitate the land by planting trees. When I visited about 4 weeks ago, the area was a veritable forest. Species of plant life that had died out were flourishing. Animal life was abundant and humans from many countries were permanent residents in the village. Permanent residents are expected to work 8 hours daily in exchange for living there.

It seems to be flourishing by all accounts.

The inauguration ceremony was attended by 124 nations who sent delegates with gifts of their earth to be all placed together in one urn. It was held on Wednesday 28th, 1968.

On that day, I was living in Trinidad and was 15 years old. I was actively filling in to be the caretaker of an 11 year old brother and a 7 year old sister. I was in over my head.

I had no idea that on the other side of the earth, a small group of people were gathering to celebrate a vision of a future and that as a 65 year old in 2018, I would be lucky enough to visit.

That 15-year-old, was also unaware that she would go on to do some amazing things.

Things like finish a triathlon and marathon after she turned 50 or get a handle of clinical depression and make her pain the foundation of a nonprofit, or have a wonderful husband and children, or speak at the UN, or (and most importantly) end generational violence in her lifetime.

I was unaware of all of this and more.

As I write this message to you, I am blissfully unaware of what will happen tomorrow, next week or 10 years from now.

I am not worried about not knowing.

I have learned to trust and believe that if I follow my path to end violence to girls and women, I will be fully living my destiny. I also know that when I do not trust my gut, I get burned.

I did not always believe I had a destiny. I believe it now.

I am asking you to give yourself time to uncover your own destinies and to allow yourself to take small steps in the direction of what you know that destiny to be.

Some of the tools to help you uncover your destiny include physical exercise, yoga, meditation, gratitude journaling, setting and keeping healthy boundaries by saying No to things that do not support what you know your destiny to be.

How we can help:

At www.indranislight.org/caregiver-resources we have classes to give you a head start of some of these tools. You can find a podcast called Caring for the Caregiver where we take deep dives into real questions by real people and give some ideas to handle life stresses.

I wish you a happy and joy-filled 2019. I wish you the clarity of mind to find joy in the midst of inevitable pain and I wish you the courage to love yourself as deeply as you love the most precious person on your life.

Love and light

Neuroplacticity…your path to freedom!


neuroplasticity via mimlearning.comHave you heard of the science of Neuroplacticity? This marvel of science is defined as the brain’s natural ability to form new connections in order to compensate for injury or changes in one’s environment.

I think of it as creating new maps inside our head.

Do you remember when you learned how to ride a bike? How many years ago was that?

I bet you can still get on a bike now and remember how to ride. Your brain has a map of that process and without much thought you are flying down the street!

Everything we have ever done and learned has made “impressions” in our brain and those lessons are imprinted. The more we practice something the better we get.

This works really well if what we are practicing will give us a return of a happy and joy filled life.
It does not work so well when the things we do repeatedly causes us stress and pain.

Recently, I met a very gifted woman who has had worldwide success with her artwork.
I was at a health spa in Southern India and I first saw her screaming at the desk attendant that “after all these bloody years, why
couldn’t she just have a bloody electric kettle to make her bloody coffee?”

I immediately extended my hand and said, “Hi, it sounds like you are having a heck of a time getting your coffee.”

She quickly apologized for the loud voice and said she was just being a bitch.
I stuck around and we chatted. Within 10 minutes I had her whole life history and all the stuff that had gone wrong.
I thought she was having a really bad day.

I saw her again at dinner and we sat together, and again she repeated all the woes of her life.

We said goodnight and I was happy that her bad day was over.

The next day, we saw each other for all three meals and the stories were the exact same! This was not an “I’m having a bed day thing” this was a “my life sucks” thing.

She was consistent!

On the 3rd day, I challenged her to only say what she was grateful for and to her credit, she switched gears…for five minutes and then BAM, she was right back in the story of “woe is me”.

I felt like I wanted to run and hide.
This woman had complained about her lot and lack for so long that she created a sheath of myelin so thick around lack that she literally could not manage to stay positive for more than 5 minutes.

I can come up with at least 20 things that I see as great and awesome in her life.
I also think she is an awesome woman…but not when she is complaining as though it is her profession.
If she wants to change this negative behavior she has to create NEW neuro-pathways in her brain. She has to invoke the magic of neuroplacticity and start laying down new sheaths of myelin.

How does one create new pathways?

The first step is to KNOW that you want something different than what you have.

Want to learn a new language?
Which one?
What method?

Get the point?
You have to have a plan around the new thing you want to learn.

If she wants to be more positive, it is a matter of practicing. She could set aside 10 minutes daily to write down all of the positives in her life or enlist a friend to help her see the power of the positive once daily.

When I suggested that she start or end her day with a list of gratitude items, she told he she can’t do that. I asked if she knew how to write?
She then said it would be too much work.

The next step for creating a new pathway is to believe that the work is worth the result you wish to achieve.
If you do not believe that you have the power to create change or that you are worthy of the effort, you will not change.
You must ask yourself these questions:
1. Do you want it? Really want it?
2. Are you are willing to take small steps to making the new habit?
3. Do you believe that you are worth the new life you say you want?

I have been accused of singular focus when I decide to do something. I decided to do a triathlon, so I had to learn to swim competitively. I went to swim class every day for 3 months. I never even considered that I could not complete the triathlon. I created new neuro-pathways in my brain.

These days when I decide to do something new, I just start small and stay the course.

I was recently diagnosed with diabetes and I promised my doctor that I would turn my numbers around. I completely gave up bread and cakes and sweets and within 4 months my numbers were better.

We have the power to make significant changes in our lives, if only we accept the challenge to do something differently.

How could my love of bread and cake be more important than my love of my legs and my eyesight?
Diabetes steals eyesight and amputations in diabetics are common when the patient is out of control.
Who would I blame if these things were to happen?

What changes would you like to make this year?
How can you help yourself to keep those steps small and manageable?
The journey of one thousand steps really does start with the first.
Enjoy the journey, each step of it and have faith that the destination will be glorious because you have taken charge of your own destiny.

Love and light,