ARE YOU ALONE even when you’re not?… 5 tips to get to “alone is not lonely”

This may strike a raw nerve with some of you. Yesterday I went to a very busy lunch hour cafe in my town and as I waited for my friend, I began to look around.

There they were… let me set the stage

She looking down as though she was reading the fine print on the salt shaker.

He, body completely turned away from her, absorbed in a local newspaper that is nothing more than picture ads for local business.

After he finished reading every riveting line of the advertorial publication, he got up, folded the paper and replaced it in the tray.

He walked back to the table and sat down.

She has not moved her body, except for her eyes, every now and then they would dart from down to up then side ways. They both played a great game of ” I will not look at you”. They were so versed in their technique that it was a flawless performance.

He got restless ( maybe he faced her for about 2 minutes) and got up to check on their food. This action was completely uncalled for since they had the beeper right there on the table that would’ve alerted them about the order.

There was another curious “missing” piece. They did not have cell phones. I have noticed that “cell phone praying” is the new way to be lonely with someone but pretend that you are not. They did not have cell phones to pray to/on/over. They only had themselves and their darting, hungry eyes.

Their bellies were hungry for food and their eyes hungry for… I do not know…. but the hunger was palpable.

If you have ever been in this situation try this.

1. Sit up straight and tall and begin to breathe deeply. This will give your brain some more oxygen.

2.If you want to make a connection with the other person give a compliment on the shirt/shoes/belt… get it?… just something to break the ice.

3. If you do not want to connect with them, find something about yourself that you LOVE. Your toes, your fingers, your eyes, they way you carry yourself in the world.

4. Think of 5 things that you are grateful for in your life at the moment, a child’s smile, a new job, an old job and great friends get it? This simple list will flood your brain with some feel good chemicals.

5. Ask yourself what you’d like to do differently next time you find yourself in a similar situation. Maybe you can get ridiculous and offer to sit in the restaurant across the street? Sometimes it is better to shine a light on what’s happening than to pretend that “nothing” is better than knowing that “something” needs to be addressed.

Just something to think about.