Yearly Archives: 2010

PARENTS GET OFF THE TELEPHONE…and play with your kids, please

I am visiting my child in Philly and went to see a beautiful ORCHID show at LONGWOOD GARDENS.

As I was waiting for my car service to pick me up I saw a Mom SLAP her little girl ( age 5 or 6) because she threw a small snow ball and it landed on a stranger. The little child JUST wanted to have a snow ball fight. The Mom, reacted so violently, BUT she NEVER GOT OFF HER PRECIOUS TELEPHONE CALL!

The little child looked so sad, and seemed so embarrassed!

The woman, dragged the child away and NEVER got off the frickin’ phone!!!

People, Parents PLEASE, please GET OFF your telephones.

Take it from me, a new empty nester. These precious birds do fly off. These children do leave us and what will they remember? Are we teaching them to IGNORE us when we grow into our second childhood?

Please HANG UP! PLEASE do it NOW! Please take the time to look into the eyes of your precious children. Please take the time to SEE them.

Remember why YOU brought them into this world.

Was it to IGNORE them in public? If you are ignoring them in public, what are you doing in private?

If you do not know HOW to parent, get thee to a local class or to a teleclass probably being advertised right now in your in box. Get a coach to guide you into being the good parent that you truly want to be.

When you honor your precious children, you honor yourself!

You honor humanity and you are nurturing the people to which we are entrusting the world!

In the Shadow of VALENTINES day… stay in your own light

There is little doubt that February 14th gives us all some level of expectation. We may have significant others who play the game, or we may have significant others who hate the game, or we not have anyone to play the game with.

When I first came to this country so many years ago, this Valentines Day phenomenon was so new, I was really baffled.

Was it true that if someone gave you flowers or chocolates on one special day that it made up for heartache or missteps from all the other days?

And why is it that the onus is on the man/boy to do the giving?

I did buy into the program after not too long but it still sorta kinda bothered me. Then the day after was always some kind of boasting marathon thing at the office. Invariably one woman was always pissed off and others were telling her “how useless he was” but ( as I recall) she never really dropped him because as one woman put it  “he was better than nothing”.

That phrase has stayed with me all these many (37 plus) years later… “better than nothing”

If you say it out loud and slowly it is the saddest thing you probably have ever said.

On this Valentines day, I ask you this question… are you hanging out with someone who is “better than nothing?”

If so I want you to know this…

you are worthy

you are special

you are exquisite

I want you to stand in your TRUE worth and see the worth in all others around you. Perhaps, just perhaps you will give yourself permission to be BIG and BRIGHT and BEAUTIFUL and in so doing you will give the significant others in your life to be their biggest and brightest and best(est) and you can celebrate the human spirit everyday and not just hang all your love expectations on one day.

The love hand

Oh, just one more thing, Give yourself some extra attention this week… you so deserve it.

2B or not 2 B is not the question… 2 B yourself or not, IS!

I cannot tell you how many times I have mumbled this quote to myself (and always in some weird version of a British accent and I also seem to morph into a gray haired old geezer).

I like this question better anyway:

2B or not 2 B myself?

Why didn’t Willie think of that?

Here’s the sticky part to this question… in order to choose to be myself, I have to know what BEING MYSELF means. This has not always been easy. There have been more times than I care to remember when I relied on others to tell me who I was, what I should do, who I should or shouldn’t like, etc. I framed my “ME” within the confines of someone else.

To be ME, the full and total ME that I am meant to be, means allowing myself to explore all the areas of life that I enjoy and to focus on the enjoyable parts of the areas that I don’t particularly like.

One very easy way to become the fullest you is to continually practice qualities that you want to improve or deepen. For example, If I desire to be kinder, I need to practice kindness every time I have the chance.

I must practice in deed, thought and word.

It may not be quick, but a little practice goes a long way and the universe is always giving us opportunities to step up to the plate.

Here’s to full and deep practice… cheers

LIFE…assembly required

We have just come off the holidays. We all either bought or received gifts that requires doing something from simply inserting a plug  or full blown building like making sense of a bunch of parts/Lego blocks/software instructions etc. Ring any familiar bells?

This got me to do some serious thinking.

What if I applied those same principles to building the life I want? We all have a life ( if you are reading this you certainly do!) and more often than not it has been highly influenced by the actions of others. Their choices have had some impact on us.

What if I thought of all those ” things that happened” as parts of the thing I have to create. All the pieces are necessary to some degree but just like some packages, there are sometimes extra parts in case we lose or mess up right?

If I accepted that it was my responsibility to create the BEST POSSIBLE product (my life) from all the parts that are laying on the floor, I may just begin to accept the task of experimenting with a different combination. Instead of judging myself when something was not as I wanted, I may deconstruct it and try something completely new. I would KNOW that as long as I was playing around with the elements, that I was in the game and I may accept all the silly missteps and aggravations that previously threw me for a loop. I might actually expect a part or two to break or roll out of sight and I would actually replace something it if I thought it was absolutely necessary or I might go looking for it, like I would if a screw rolled under a sofa.

Here’s an example. I recently got a flip cam ( get one!) and I plugged it into my Mac. I was having the hardest time getting it to do what it was supposed to do, which is to e mail video easily and effortlessly. It turns out that the Flip cam LOVES windows a lot and Macs not so much. So, I got my computer guy to install a parallel windows software and now my FLIP loves my computer!

In this instance I did not have all the parts I needed, I had to buy some more which I gladly did and my goal was accomplished. Exactly what I would have to do if I had something that needed batteries to power it up! I would not fret that I needed batteries. I would wait until I had the money to get them and I would be happy that I got my new toy to work.

Now for a LIFE example. When I was first certified as a life coach, I really wanted to incorporate yoga  with my coaching. I observed my clients and the way they held their bodies and realized that a lot was being unsaid/unheard and untapped in their body language. When I was face to face with someone I would notice how their bodies reflected their pain and challenges. I did some research and found a program ( Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy) that used the body as a portal into the mind.

The training required travel and studying and tons of reports ( and I hate to type!). I did a quick inventory check of the elements I already possessed ( I liked to travel, I am a good student, I have a computer to type my reports ( and thank god for spell check), I enjoy learning new things etc)  that would enable me to put this new coaching persona together, A Life Coach who used yoga and yoga therapy with clients. It took almost 2.5 years but this past October I finally completed the last of my Yoga training and now I am fully certified to create the life I have dreamed about.

How about you? Is there something in your life that you want to create but the parts that are laying around seem more like obstacles than pieces of the puzzle you need? What can you do to re-frame the way you are thinking about what you are surrounded by and make all these pieces work for you?

My questions to you are quite simple:

1.What do you want to create?…be very specificc

2.What skill sets do you already have?… be really boastful

3.What do you need to acquire ( new skill sets)?… be really honest

4.Who is teaching what you need?… be very open minded

5.What forgotten parts of your life do you need to find in order to make your new life a reality?… be very introspective

6. How much responsibility are you willing to take for the life that you dream about?… be very sincere

When you begin to PLAY with the above questions and responses, a picture will begin to form. Take a few days/weeks ( yes, I know that January will be over, but you can still keep resolutions in February ok?).  Take some time to journal about the things that are coming up for you. Use collage/paint/magnetic words on the fridge… just have some fun!

Allow the mental picture to really take shape and then INSERT yourself in this picture.

Take some time to feel it/ see it/ taste it/ touch it/ hear it… use all your senses.

Take the time to ASSEMBLE the life you want from all the pieces of information that you have.

Now, it’s your turn to do some assemblage!