Is this not a SWEET image. A little girl on her white 18 year old horse… just being a little girl on her horse.  This is not a story about this little princess, it is rather a story about the QUEEN mother in her life. Lets call the mom ELIZABETH… just because it makes sense 🙂

So Elizabeth became a client about 2 months ago. She has been working on STANDING tall in her own energy, especially during stressful times within her 13 year old marriage. She is very educated, highly successful and has a huge heart that has supported all her friends, family, hubby… but not so much herself.

Elizabeth, like so many of us women, believed that if she did just ONE more favor, sucked up her pain just ONE more time, gave more than she had just ONE more day, then all would be well. Her knight in shining armor would lean down from his white shiny horse and say something like

” I am so sorry that I have taken you for granted, called you horrible names, kicked you when you were down blah blah blah” Guess what?

Lizzie finally had to come to terms with the fact that THOSE words were NEVER going to be spoken!

She was as low as she could get, slithering on her belly, and still there was a leaded foot on her back still pushing her down. Still, there were demands being made that were inexplicable and she still was consumed by sadness and LOSS for the person she once was. Where was that feisty 20 something year old who took the business world by storm and was managing gobs of professional folks and loving it? Where was that grown up woman who carried herself with grace and aplomb who took on life’s challenges and never lost sight of her own goals?

When had she become the person who begged for love, attention and care?

When did she decide to trade her self respect for ” ok, I- will -do -whatever you- want- and- then -you’ll-love- me -right?”- ness.

So we began to work. She is a firecracker. She puts my energy to shame. She is also a DREAM client because she LOVES homework!

So here is a piece of homework that I gave to her.

To write a letter to each of her kids telling them how PROUD she is of them.

That’s it.

Just to get out of her head how much she loves her babies.

She made this exercise so much more meaningful for herself and her daughter.

She took her princess riding and Queen Elizabeth sat in the middle of the ring and wrote her letter. WOW… I told ya she was awesome. She immersed herself in the energy of her happy baby girl and she immersed herself in the love that she has for her daughter.

She is healing her soul by taking small but meaningful steps every day and I have no doubt that one day soon she will say

“Indrani, I do not need you to coach me anymore, I am in perfect alignment with my truth and my fully functioning adult self.”

What will I say? I will say ” My dear Queen Elizabeth, it has been an honor watching your emerge. Keep in touch. I truly love ya”

So how about a piece of homework for each of you?

Here it is… write a LOVE letter to yourself. Tell your self how PROUD you are of YOU for having endured all that you have endured. Tell yourself that you wouldn’t trade you for all the tea in china, all the coffee at Starbucks, all the… oh you get the point!

If you cannot do this, why not? Now there’s another letter that needs to be written!

This may strike a raw nerve with some of you. Yesterday I went to a very busy lunch hour cafe in my town and as I waited for my friend, I began to look around.

There they were… let me set the stage

She looking down as though she was reading the fine print on the salt shaker.

He, body completely turned away from her, absorbed in a local newspaper that is nothing more than picture ads for local business.

After he finished reading every riveting line of the advertorial publication, he got up, folded the paper and replaced it in the tray.

He walked back to the table and sat down.

She has not moved her body, except for her eyes, every now and then they would dart from down to up then side ways. They both played a great game of ” I will not look at you”. They were so versed in their technique that it was a flawless performance.

He got restless ( maybe he faced her for about 2 minutes) and got up to check on their food. This action was completely uncalled for since they had the beeper right there on the table that would’ve alerted them about the order.

There was another curious “missing” piece. They did not have cell phones. I have noticed that “cell phone praying” is the new way to be lonely with someone but pretend that you are not. They did not have cell phones to pray to/on/over. They only had themselves and their darting, hungry eyes.

Their bellies were hungry for food and their eyes hungry for… I do not know…. but the hunger was palpable.

If you have ever been in this situation try this.

1. Sit up straight and tall and begin to breathe deeply. This will give your brain some more oxygen.

2.If you want to make a connection with the other person give a compliment on the shirt/shoes/belt… get it?… just something to break the ice.

3. If you do not want to connect with them, find something about yourself that you LOVE. Your toes, your fingers, your eyes, they way you carry yourself in the world.

4. Think of 5 things that you are grateful for in your life at the moment, a child’s smile, a new job, an old job and great friends get it? This simple list will flood your brain with some feel good chemicals.

5. Ask yourself what you’d like to do differently next time you find yourself in a similar situation. Maybe you can get ridiculous and offer to sit in the restaurant across the street? Sometimes it is better to shine a light on what’s happening than to pretend that “nothing” is better than knowing that “something” needs to be addressed.

Just something to think about.